Well, after entirely too long a gap since my last post, I've finally found time to add an entry to my blog -- my promised Best & Worst of 2004 as I saw it. Now I must warn everyone, that living out in the boonies of Montana, I don't have access to most of the independent flicks that the movie critics all fawn over every year (and probably wouldn't spend my hard-earned money to see most of them at the theatre even if I could), so my list is likely to differ significantly from most of the other lists out there in that it's pretty much entirely made of up -- heaven forbid! -- big budget Hollywood movies!! No offense to the learned film critics out there, but there's a reason these movies get released on so many screens and make the money that they do.
After going over all of the movies I'd seen last year, I decided that a simple "best of" and "worst of" list wasn't quite going to work for me, so I'm doing things a little differently. For my favorite films, I'm breaking them up into two categories (kind of like the Golden Globes) -- best of action/thriller/sci-fi/horror, etc., and best of family/comedy/animation. After looking all the movies over, I came to the conclusion that you can't really compare these different categories of movies in the same list (at least I can't). I mean, Troy and Shrek 2 were both fantastic films, but considering they're completely and totally different types of movies, and that I enjoyed them for entirely different reasons, how do you do decide which one is better? So instead of trying to decide, I made two lists, and here they are:
Best Action/Sci-Fi/Thriller Movies of 2004
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10 - King Arthur (unrated director's cut). The listing here refers strictly to the DVD release of the movie. The theatrical version was pretty good, but not great (and wouldn't have made my top 10). But the unrated DVD release I feel very much made up for the theatrical version's shortcomings. People can bad mouth this one all they want, but I enjoyed the hell out of it. Of course, I really, really love epic historic films like this, so that probably skews my opinion of the movie a little (so loved the battle sequences in this movie!).
9 - The Manchurian Candidate. I was a little hesitant when I first heard this was coming out. I mean, why do a remake of such a classic film? But when I saw the first trailers, I could tell this was going to be a good movie. And after watching it, I decided it was a REALLY good movie. It did a great job of updating the original, and of course Denzel Washington is great in pretty much everything he does.
8 - Man on Fire. Another fantastic Denzel film. The character he plays in this movie is just so engrossing to watch. Also noteworthy, even though he only plays a bit part, is Christopher Walken (his monologue about Denzel's character painting his masterpiece are the best lines in the movie). As much as I enjoyed The Punisher (regardless of what the critics had to say about it), Man on Fire pretty much blew it away as far as the intensity of the scenes and incredible performances by its stars.
7 - I, Robot. On watching the trailers for this, I figured it would be just another standard action/sci-fi summer movie. To my surprise, it turned out to have a lot more complexity and depth to it than I had expected, and proved to be an incredibly good movie. It also helps that it was directed by Alex Proyas, one of my all time favorite directors. I was also surprised to learn (when I watched it on DVD -- I missed this in the credits the first time I saw it) that the robot Sonny was played by Alan Tudyk, a fantastic actor that I loved in A Knight's Tale and the TV show Firefly (and his character Steve the Pirate in Dodgeball was absolutely hilarious!).
6 - Collateral. A grey-haired Tom Cruise playing the bad guy. Who would've ever imagined it? And can I say, damn, he makes a great villain! Tom's performance, Jamie Foxx's performance, and Michael Mann's directing are all top notch. The ending I think was a little weak and could have been improved upon, but otherwise this was just a great movie. And you just have to love a movie with lines like this: "You . . . you killed him?" "No, I shot him. The bullets and the fall killed him."
5 - Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow. I constantly have to shake my head at all the people who put this movie down, or put it on their "worst" list. And it's a real shame this didn't do better at the box office. I loved this movie!! Of course, I think too many modern moviegoers are just way too jaded, and have a hard time appreciating a movie like this. But for someone like me, who absolutely adores the old pulp sci-fi movies and black-and-white serials that inspired this film, it was the perfect summer popcorn movie. It's just a fun film, pure and simple. And the visual style was very cool.
4 - Hero. I loved this movie! I've always been a big, big fan of Asian cinema, and movies like this are one of the reasons why. I loved the use of color throughout the film, and the visual style is just stunning. The way the story is told is very well done, and the ending, while not the happy ending you generally get from Hollywood fare, really brings the movie to a dramatic close (and anyone who's spent any time watching Asian films can tell you that they're not really big on the happy ending). This movie is one of the reasons that Zhang Yimou is one of my favorite directors (I can't wait to see House of Flying Daggers!).
3 - National Treasure. I was really surprised at just how good this movie was. This is the next generation Indiana Jones that Lara Croft SHOULD have been (if it hadn't had a complete and total hack for a writer/director). It has the same sense of adventure and mystery and fun, and Nicholas Cage was absolutely great! And, as an avid comic book fan, I just loved the fact that the woman in the movie was named Abigail Chase (Dangergirl, anyone?). I so hope this at least gets a sequel, if not a full trilogy. And can I say that it's refreshing to see a non-kids' movie that's actually rated PG, not PG-13? It proof positive that you can make an enjoyable, exciting film without the violence and adult themes so prevalent in Hollywood films these days (not that I have anything against violence or adult themes in the movies, mind you, but it's nice now and then to see a movie without them that ISN'T animated).
2 - The Grudge. Oh my God did I love this movie!! The Ring first sparked my interest in Asian horror films, but this movie turned me into a major fan. While not for everyone, this movie had me jumping in my seat repeatedly when I watched it. And I love the idea of a horror movie that's scary and creepy without being incredibly gory like too many horror films are. I bought Juon: The Grudge (the original Japanese movie), but haven't had a chance to watch it yet, and I'm looking at getting the original Ringu one of these days. Since seeing The Grudge I've spent all kinds of time online looking into other Asian horror films (both Japanese and Korean), and with a number of them due on DVD in the US soon, I'm going to have to expand my collection. I'm curious to sit down and watch the original Japanese version of this movie to see how they compare. But even if the original is much better, this version is still a fun, scary, great movie.
1 - Troy. And finally, we have my favorite action/adventure movie of 2004. This movie rocked! Brad Pitt was incredible as Achilles (this is a man I would follow into battle, unlike Colin Farrel's weak attempt at such a figure in Alexander). Eric Bana was great as Hector; even Orlando Bloom did a pretty good job as Paris (although he wasn't as strong in this role as he was in Pirates of the Caribbean or Lord of the Rings). The rest of the cast was exceptional as well. The battles were exciting and intense, the scenery was incredible. This movie was just huge in so many ways (I still get a thrill every time I watch the camera pan out from Achilles ship, and the Greek fleet keeps getting larger and larger and larger with no end of ships in sight). But as I said with King Arthur, I'm a huge fan of this genre of film. And as a fan, this movie did not disappoint.
There were a number of other really good films last year that didn't quite make my top 10. Included in this list are The Punisher, The Chronicles of Riddick (yes, I actually really liked this movie), After the Sunset, Van Helsing, Spiderman 2 (this would have made my top 10, but I was just a little annoyed/disappointed at how many times Peter Parker kept losing his mask where people could see his face. The whole scene with the train was pretty stupid and weak in my opinion), and many others that I can't think of at the moment. Now let's not waste any time, but instead jump right into my favorite comedy/family/animation films of 2004. I only managed 8 films for this list (I'm just not as much of a comedy fan as I am an action/thriller fan), and here they are:
Best Comedy/Family/Animation Movies of 2004
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8 - Eurotrip. Okay, so maybe I'm something of a weirdo, but I really like Michelle Trachtenberg, and very much enjoyed watching her in this movie. And of course all the gratuitous T&A is a nice bonus for a heterosexual male such as myself. And to be honest I actually thought this was a pretty funny movie, as far as cheesy sex comedies go. And it didn't quite have the gross-out humor that movies like the American Pie series had that I could do without (at least, not that I remember, anyways).
7 - 13 Going On 30. Normally I'm not a big fan of the romantic comedy (although there are a fair number of movies in this genre that I like, it's not the type of movie I'm going to go out of my way to go see). But this one turned out to be a really cute, fun movie. And it helps, of course, that it has Jennifer Garner in it (big, big fan of hers). Of course, after seeing her as action girl in Daredevil and Alias, it was an interesting change to see her in such a lighter, more comic role. And she pulled it off beautifully. I look forward to seeing her more in these types of roles.
6 - The Stepford Wives. It surprises me how many people didn't like this movie. I thought it was an absolute riot! Admittedly, the storyline left a fair amount to be desired, and some of their logic as far as what was actually being done to the women was never really explained to my satisfaction, but in the end, who cares? I was laughing pretty much through the entire film, which makes it a worthwhile movie in my book.
5 - Taxi. What can I say about this movie? It was funny, it had some great chase scenes, and damn were the bank robbers totally hot!! Politically correct or not, this movie just had all kinds of eye candy!! Now, I will admit, Jimmy Fallon kind of fell flat (sadly the boy's just not quite ready to take the lead in a movie), but Queen Latifah more than makes up for it, and the movie is pretty darned funny. The critics can say all the bad things they want to about this one, but I liked it!
4 - Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story. Okay, I have to admit that I caught this on a Sunday matinee mainly because I was bored and there wasn't much else out at the theatre that I hadn't already seen. That having been said, this movie was fall out of your chair clutching your sides in laughter funny. This movie was great! Even Ben Stiller did a great job (and I'm normally not even a little bit of a Ben Stiller fan -- I think I liked him here mainly because he was playing a character very different from what he normally plays). I think every now and then you need a goofy, mindless, zany comedy to take your mind off of life's troubles, and that is exactly what this movie is.
3 - Shrek 2. This was a really close call between this and my #2 movie. Bigger, better, and funnier than the original, this was just all around a great film. As my #3 film, I should have more to say about it, but I don't know that there's much to say beyond just wonderful, fun, great movie.
2 - Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events. This movie was just a treat, despite Jim Carrey hamming it up a little too much at times. The combination of fantasy and dark humor so made this my type of movie. And I was very surprised to discover that Emily Browning (who plays Violet in the film) played the little dead British girl in Ghost Ship (need to go back and watch that one again because I just can't picture them as being the same person). She did a great job in this movie, as did the other child actors. I also loved the idea of subtitles for Sunny's dialogue (that was funny as hell). This movie more than made up for the disappointment I felt watching Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (anyone who says that was the best of the Harry Potter movies doesn't know what the hell they're talking about). I really hope they continue to make movie adaptations of the rest of the Lemony Snicket series.
1 - The Incredibles. Although it was a really tough call (the top three movies in this group were practically a three-way tie for me), I have to put The Incredibles at the top of the heap. Equal parts super hero movie and James Bond spy movie (with a little inspiration from Return of the Jedi for one scene thrown in as well), this one just had it all. And Samuel L. Jackson was a riot as Frozone. Once again Pixar proves they're still the kings of animation, with another film that tops a lot of the live action movies being made.
Well, there you have it. My views on the best Hollywood had to offer last year. And now, on to the not so great from last year. Like my "best of" movies, I can't really make a simple "worst of" list, for a couple of reasons. First off, I don't feel right in categorically calling any movie the "worst". For one thing, taste in movies very much differ from person to person (for example, look at how different my lists are from those of the critics), so just because I didn't like it doesn't necessarily mean it was a bad movie, it just means I didn't like it. The other difficult thing for me is that unlike the critics, I actually have to pay to go to the movies, which means if it looks bad, there's no way in hell I'm wasting my time or money going to see it (and it's certainly unfair to judge a movie you haven't bothered to go see). So instead of a simple "worst of" list, I'm again going with two lists here. Firstly, for the bad movies I did actually make the mistake of seeing, I have my "most disappointing movies of 2004". I figure this is a more accurate description that "worst", since I was really hoping for a good movie (or I wouldn't have bothered to go see it), and what I ended up getting simply wasn't up to the standards I'd hoped for. Secondly, we have the "didn't bother seeing" list. This is a list of the movies that looked so horrible that I didn't even bother going to see them. As with my "best comedy/family/animation" list, there are only 8 movies each on these lists, as opposed to the traditional 10.
Most Disappointing Movies of 2004
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8 - Van Helsing. Okay, in all fairness, this movie is only on this list because I wanted 8 movies here to match up with my other lists. This actually wasn't that bad a movie. It was a bit cheesy, and sadly a far, far cry from the wonderful original Universal monster movies that inspired it, but otherwise it wasn't a horrible movie. That being said, however, I have to say that as excited as I was after seeing the various trailers, the movie itself was something of a letdown.
7 - Secret Window. Being a huge fan of Johnny Depp, and a fairly big fan of John Turturro, and generally really enjoying most Stephen King films, I have to say this film was a disappointment. Not that it was a terrible film; on the contrary, there was a lot about this movie to enjoy (I was especially loved the twisted ending). The reason it's on this list is that I was able to figure out way too early in the film what the big twist was going to be (and I'm one of those people who makes a point of NOT looking ahead in a movie or trying to figure out the plot before it happens. I very happily stay focused on what's happening right in front of me, and let myself be surprised. So if I see the twist coming, you know that it was really, really obvious). The sad part is, I truly feel that with some minor tweaking of the script, the suspense could have been carried quite a bit longer into the movie before you discovered what was really going on.
6 - Ocean's 12. Now don't get me wrong, for what it was (a goofy comedy), I did actually enjoy this film. The problem with it (and the reason I was so disappointed with it), was that I wasn't going to the theatre to see a comedy. I was going to the theatre to see a light-hearted heist movie (which this movie WASN'T!). It was light-hearted enough, but the heist part of it just wasn't there. Unlike the first movie, which at its heart had this incredible heist, this movie just didn't pull it off. For one thing it was several small heists instead of one big heist, and too many of them just weren't believable. Add in over-the-top scenes like the French guy dancing his way through the moving laser beams (which was just a horribly dumb concept all the way around), and it just didn't live up to the first movie (wasn't even close). And since I'll take a good heist movie over a good comedy any day, this movie makes it onto my most disappointing list.
5 - Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. I'm sure most people are looking at this entry and thinking I've plain lost my marbles, but I was really, really disappointed in this film. I will admit that when I watched it the second time on DVD, I wasn't quite as disappointed with it as I was when I first saw it at the theatre, but there were still too many really important scenes missing from the movie that it just wasn't complete without. It just felt to me like the screenwriter and director were assuming that everyone seeing the movie had read the books several times, so anything they left out the viewers would already know, so it wouldn't be a big deal (and I know that to be false since neither of the two people I saw it with had ever read any of the books). I consider this to be the cardinal sin of making a movie adapation of a book -- assuming the viewers have all read the source material. Even if they have, the movie should stand out on its own, as if the book had never been written. And when I end up spending 15 minutes after the movie explaining to my friends all the things they missed that were in the book, I define that movie as a failure. Now admittedly, there are a few things that I knew about from the book that I thought should have been in the movie that if you hadn't read the book you'd never have missed, but there were other parts that were just plain confusing if you hadn't read the book. The most glaring example of this was Professor Lupin and the Marauder's Map. How did he know how to use the map? If you've read the book, you'll of course know it's because he's one of the people who WROTE the map, but none of that is covered in the movie. Biggest of all for me was the fact that they didn't even touch on Professor Snape's mistreatment as a schoolboy by Harry's father and Sirius Black, which actually explains why it is that Professor Snape has had such a negative view of Harry from the very beginning of the first film. How on earth could you leave that part out?! So regardless of what anyone else has to say, for me, this was by far the weakest of the Harry Potter movies. And I don't even think the blame goes to the fact that the book is significantly longer than the previous books, while the movies are all the same length. They simply did a poor job of stripping down and streamlining the book for the movie (which makes me really curious/nervous about how they're going to handle the next one).
4 - Blade: Trinity. After that super long-winded writeup of Harry Potter 3, I think I'll keep this one short and sweet. This was just a sad finish to what had previously been a good series of movies. Jessica Biel is sexy and tough and does a good job in her role, but the whole MP3 player bullshit they kept focusing on in attempt to be hip and cool was just sad (I'm sorry, but anybody stupid enough to go into a fight of any sort with @^*%#@!ing headphones blaring in their ears is going to get their butt handed to them). Then there's Hannibal King. Or should I say, then there's Van Wilder with a beard pretending he's a badass while cracking lame, crude, frat boy jokes every two minutes. Again, a sad attempt at making the film hip and cool (and I'm sure it worked for some people, but I've read the Nightstalkers comics, so I know how far off they were from what Hannibal King is supposed to be). There were other things about the movie I didn't like, but those stand out as the worst. The movie wasn't all bad, of course. The fight scenes were pretty kick ass, and the music was as cool as always. But all in all this series ended with a whimper.
3 - The Girl Next Door. Even though I knew it wasn't going to be, I really wanted this movie to be another Eurotrip. Even if it didn't have the gratuitous nudity, I was hoping it would sexier than it was, and I was really hoping it would be funnier than it was. Luckily for me I skipped this at the theater, and one of my buddies loaned me the DVD, so I didn't actually have to spend any money to see it. Sadly, this was really a romantic comedy packaged as a sex comedy (and as I said, I'm not really big on the romantic comedies). Especially considering the storyline, I think this movie would have worked a lot better as an R-rated, T&A filled sex comedy along the lines of Eurotrip and American Pie (but maybe that's just me).
2 - Torque. God, was this a horrible movie! I remember when Biker Boys came out, and everyone was making the big deal that it was The Fast and The Furious on motorcycles. Well, I went and saw it, and discovered that instead of the adrenaline-filled, minimal story all action movie that The Fast and The Furious was (which was what I'd been hoping for), it was instead a dramatic coming of age story that just happened to take place in the world of street bike racing. When the movie was finished, I decided that it was actually a pretty good movie, even if it wasn't what I'd been hoping for. Then Torque came out. Now here was The Fast and The Furious on motorcycles!! I couldn't wait to see it. Then I actually saw it. Oh my God, what a letdown! I admit that I don't look for much in the way of story or character development (or even acting, for that matter) when I go to see an action movie like this. Give me fast cars and hot women, and I'm set! But even I have my standards, and this movie landed far below them. Start to finish it was just sad. Not even the hot babes in the movie could save this one (and I'll forgive A LOT when a movie has hot babes in it).
1 - The Village. First let me just say that I'm a really big fan of M. Night Shyamalan. Up till this point I loved every one of his movies (even Unbreakable, which a number of people I know were disappointed with). Then I saw The Village. Not only was the "big surprise twist" of the movie easy to spot from a mile away, but it was a really DUMB twist at that! After all of his previous movies where he very much treats the supernational as real, to now have a movie where the monsters were actually FAKE was a total disappointment. There were just so, so many different places he could have gone with this movie that would have been so much better than what we got. On top of that the movie was slow, and with the exception of Adrien Brody, the acting was pretty uninspired. Of all the movies I saw last year, this one far and away fell short the most from what I'd been expecting (and considering how disappointed I was with Torque, that's saying something).
So there you have the disappointments of 2004, which just leaves the movies that looked so bad I wasn't going to waste money on them. There were more movies that I didn't bother to see that aren't on the list, either because they simply weren't my type of movies, or they looked dumb, but other people told me later that they weren't actually that bad and I should give them a try. Since I haven't actually seen them to rate them, these are just going to be listed in alphabetical order, with brief comments as to why I didn't figure they were worth seeing:
Movies Not Worth Wasting Money On For 2004
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1 - Along Came Polly. As I said in my Dodgeball writeup, I really don't like Ben Stiller. And this movie so looked filled with everything I hate about Ben Stiller. On top of that, from the trailers at least, it looked like there was way too much toilet humor in it for me to find it very funny. So it seemed like a great movie to just skip.
2 - Anacondas: The Hunt for the Blood Orchid. My God, if there was ever a movie that SO didn't need a sequel, it was Anaconda. Of course, this one didn't suffer from having that horrible non-actress Jennifer Lopez starring in it, but it still looked as uninspired as the first movie, making it not worth my time or money.
3 - Around the World in 80 Days. Normally, I'm a big Jackie Chan fan. But I've got a mini-series version of this story on tape starring Pierce Brosnan and Eric Idle that I just love, and it was pretty obvious that this version wasn't even going to be close to the quality that one had. I do plan on seeing this one eventually just because I do love Jackie Chan, but this struck me as a cheap renter movie, and not one to see at the theatre (I so need to get a job as a movie critic just so I can get paid to go see movies like this!).
4 - Catwoman. Oh my God did this one just look horrid! And considering the scathing reviews it got, the critics pretty much seem to agree. Sure, I'm all in favor of Halle Berry in skin-tight black latex (who wouldn't be?!), but I'm a really big fan of the Catwoman comic books, and this movie (even from just the trailers) made such a mockery of the character that somebody at DC Comics should be suing for defamation of character and slander!
5 - The Passion of the Christ. Call me a sacrilegious heathen, but an ultra violent and gory two hour insider's look into Christ's death just isn't my idea of a good time. Yes, I'm sure this was a powerful and emotional dramatic recreation of Christ's last hours, and if you're deeply religious I'm sure this was a moving experience, but that's just not me. So not only did I have no interest in seeing this film, but I was somewhat disgusted with the fact that it was breaking all these records and setting movie history, since most of the people who saw it are lucky if they go to the movies once a year! I'd really prefer that a movie make history for being a really good movie, as opposed to being this big religious event (I have similar feelings about Fahrenheit 9/11 as a political propaganda piece -- the only reason it's not on my list is I don't even consider it to be a real movie). I'm probably going to hell for the above paragraph, but I gotta call 'em like I see 'em.
6 - Starsky & Hutch. Okay, maybe it's just me, but this movie just looked really, really dumb. Again, part of this is just that I don't like Ben Stiller (although Owen Wilson is usually pretty funny). I'm also not a big comedy person, at least not as far as the theatre goes. My theory is that a comedy is going to be just as funny on my TV set as it is in the theatre, and renting it or catching it on Starz is a hell of a lot cheaper than paying to see it on the big screen. So a comedy has to look really, really funny for me to want to see it at the theater, and this movie just looked dumb.
7 - Surviving Christmas. After seeing the trailers for this, I decided to take the critics at their word when they said how horrible the movie was (not to mention the fact that Ben Affleck hasn't come within 100 yards of a good movie since he did Daredevil, and he wasn't exactly stellar in that, either).
8 - The Terminal. This movie just looked dumb. And worse yet, it looked dumb in a sickly sweet, sentimental sort of way that I just can't stand. And can I just say that it really tells you something about a movie made by such Hollywood powerhouses as Stephen Spielberg, Tom Hanks, and Catherine Zeta-Jones when it gets its butt handed to it in a major way by a cheesy lowbrow comedy like Dodgeball? I'm figuring that just doesn't happen unless the movie in question is pretty disappointing.
And there you have it -- my take on the movies of 2004 as I saw them. More to come (hopefully soon). With Elektra on the horizon (I so absolutely can't wait!!), I'm sure I'll have something to write about next week if I don't come up with anything sooner.
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