Teasing
the Humans
The dragon glided through the air
currents, only occasionally giving his wings a lazy flap in order to keep
himself airborne. It was such a lovely day, the sun warming his scales, a nice
breeze to keep him aloft. Days like this it was good to be a dragon.
Below him he could see the river.
The humans had a name for it (humans had this strange need to name everything,
something the dragon simply could not fathom), but the dragon couldn’t be
bothered to remember what they called it. Eventually the river would reach the
lake, where could be found the human fishing village.
The dragon caught a down draft
that let him drop almost to the ground, and he skimmed across the surface of
the river, picking up as much speed as he could, sending up a spray of water on
both sides of his long, lean form. Ah, that felt nice, very relaxing.
“What should I do to occupy
myself on this fine day?” the dragon wondered aloud, frightening the local
wildlife (who, naturally, didn’t speak dragon, and so only heard a terrifying
roaring). “I know. It’s been ever so long since I visited the fishing village.
I’ll bet they missed me!”
The dragon couldn’t help but
smile at this. He hated to admit it, but he took an inordinate amount of
pleasure from teasing the humans. They were just so frightfully serious about
everything. Any time he’d wander past they’d start screaming and shouting and
running around in a panic, and shooting their tiny little arrows at him (most
of which never came anywhere near him, and the rare one that actually found its
mark would simply bounce off – he never could quite figure out why they
bothered).
Their reactions hadn’t ever made
much sense to the dragon. Oh sure, he’d kill the occasional sheep or goat (but
a dragon’s got to eat, same as anyone else). But it wasn’t like he’d ever
killed one of them, and the one house he’d destroyed had been purely by
accident. Surely they couldn’t hold that against him forever, now could they?
Yes, the more he thought about
it, the more he knew today would be a good day to tease the humans. He beat his
wings faster, lifting up away from the surface of the water and into the air.
He darted through the cross breezes, twirling and spinning, just enjoying the
thrill of flight, feeling the power in his wings as they propelled him through
the air.
Maybe that was why humans were
always so serious. They were perpetually stuck on the ground, plodding along on
their little legs. If only they could experience the joys of flight, the
freedom of soaring above the clouds, maybe then they’d be happy and carefree,
like he was. Of course, knowing how humans were, even if he did try to show one
of them the joy of flight, they’d likely as not just start kicking and
screaming. That’s just how those silly humans were.
Before long he could see the
lake, and the human village, which sat right at the mouth of the river. He gave
a loud, joyous roar as he dive bombed out of the clouds. He’d dropped to
treetop level just as he reached the outskirts of the village, and he skimmed
just a few feet over the tops of the highest buildings as he made his first
pass.
As expected, the humans were
already running around in a panic, pointing up in the air and screaming. The
dragon sailed over the village, then banked hard and circled back around to
give it another pass. And look, there were the guardsmen with their little bows
and arrows, right on queue! Maybe if he slowed down a couple of them might even
hit him.
The dragon just couldn’t resist.
He circled around and stopped himself over the middle of the village, just
casually beating his wings, hovering above the village marketplace.
“Come on, boys, here’s your
chance. Shoot the dragon, win a prize!”
And shoot they did, firing arrow
after arrow up into the sky at him. Several of them even managed to hit him,
the arrows bouncing harmlessly off his chest. If only they spoke dragon, then
he could tell them just how much fun he was having. He made another circle of
the village, then winged away. Yes, that had indeed been a great idea.
He floated lazily along on the
breeze, headed towards the mountains. Now that he’d had his fun, he was
starting to feel a bit peckish. A nice tasty deer would just hit the spot. He scanned
the forest, his senses focused as he searched for his lunch. He noticed a
strange smell, and not a pleasant one. What was it? He inhaled deeply. Ugh,
goblins! Nothing quite so smelly (or nasty tasting – the dragon had only made
that mistake once) as goblins.
Curious to see what sort of
mischief the vermin were up to, he veered off his course, heading towards the
smell. And in no time at all, he found them. It was a larger band, several
dozen at least. They were just entering the corn fields outside the human
village. The dragon passed high overhead, not wanting them to see him (not yet,
at any rate). There they were, weapons in hand as they marched forward,
yammering to each other in goblin (a language the dragon had never felt any
need to learn – what worthwhile thing could one possibly overhear a goblin
saying?).
The goblins were marching
straight towards the human village. And their numbers were great enough that if
they caught the humans by surprise it would be a slaughter. Well, the dragon
wasn’t having any of that! The humans were much too fun to have around to let
them be slaughtered by a bunch of obnoxious, smelly goblins. Something would
simply have to be done.
The dragon dropped from the sky,
his wings pressed up against his body, roaring down towards the goblin formation.
He pulled up several yards from the ground, unleashing a stream of dragon fire
as he tore through their ranks. He grabbed a pair of them in his claws as he
turned skywards, crushing their feeble bodies, then dropping them as he banked
in the air and came around for another pass.
The goblins scattered and were fleeing
towards the hills. The dragon smiled. A job well done. Not that the humans
would appreciate it. More than likely they’d be too upset about their corn fields
to pay any attention to the dead goblins (okay, yes, his flames may have set
their corn fields on fire, but he was sure they could save most of them. They
were right next to a lake, after all, so it wasn’t like they didn’t have ample
access to water).
The dragon flew past the edge of
the village as he returned to his search for lunch. He could hear the humans
down below, screaming about the fire and the horrible menace that the dragon
was. No appreciation at all. But that was to be expected from humans. Not that
the dragon minded. For all their faults, the world simply wouldn’t be as much
fun without them!
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