The Fast and The Furious (Oh Yeah!!)

So I just went and saw The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift, and I loved it!! Which, I’m sure, is not too big of a surprise to anyone who knows me. Fast cars, kick ass racing scenes, and very hot, scantily clad Asian women – how can you go wrong? So let’s start with the critics’ reviews of the movie (since that’s always fun) and go from there. Not surprisingly, pretty much all the critics out there made negative comments about the plot and the acting. And much as I hate to admit it, I can’t really disagree with them too much. As tends to be the case with these sorts of movies, the plot is pretty thin and really pushes the bounds of believability (the flimsy excuse to get the main character to Tokyo was especially weak). And none of the acting was exactly Oscar caliber (but I do have to give props to Sung Kang, who plays Han – I was pretty impressed with his performance). But as anyone who was excited about this movie coming out is likely to tell you, who really cares?!

And much to my surprise, a number of movie critics out there actually got this point. As a matter of fact, you could probably break the reviews down into two categories. First are those critics who made their justified criticisms about the plot and the acting, but then went on to comment that fans of the genre aren’t going to care about this, and that it has great racing scenes and is visually just great to watch (which is absolutely the case – the drifting scenes are unbelievable!). Then there’s the second group (who in my opinion shouldn’t be allowed to review anything other than independent, art-house films), who make all their focus on the weak plot and unbelievable storyline, some of whom go so far as to say that there’s too much emphasis put on the racing and not enough on the plot. Excuse me??? Are you kidding me here?! I’m sorry, but going to see this sort of movie and complaining that there’s too much emphasis on the racing and not enough on the plot is about as idiotic as going to see a porn movie and then complaining that there was way too much time spent focusing on the sex scenes!!! DUH!!!

Normally I try to avoid commenting on specific reviews; for one thing, I generally read the review on imdb, which gives quotes from various critics and an overall view of how critics felt about the movie, which means I don’t actually read any critic's complete review (which is intentional, since too many critics have a bad habit of giving away plot points I’d just as soon not have revealed until I see them in the movie). And I don’t like being too negative or critical about specific people (you never know – they may actually find out about my blog and sue me or something; stranger things have happened, I’m sure). But in this particular case, I have to make an exception, because imdb had a critic’s comment that was so idiotic I actually had to track down and read the entire review. And I’m here to tell you, if you want to see a page of pointless and inane drivel that completely misses the point of the entire flippin’ movie, then go check out the review for this movie on USA Today's website. Oh my God! She not only complains that the acting in the movie will put you to sleep (who the hell is paying attention to the acting), but she has the audacity to recommend that if you’re into automobiles that you check out Cars instead! Yeah, because an animated kiddie movie with talking cars is going to be some much more intense and exciting and adrenaline-filled than a movie with REAL cars in REAL races!! How silly of me! (I do have to admit that I haven't had a chance to see Cars yet (I spent most of last weekend when it opened at a soccer tournament), so I can't comment on what sort of racing is in that movie, but all things considered, it's pretty easy to guess that there's no comparison between the two films).

Whew! Okay, got that out of my system. I’ve been fuming about that and needing to vent about it from the minute I read the review, before I even saw the movie. But now I have seen it, and I can now say with absolute conviction that any critic who didn’t say the movie was worth seeing by anyone who loves car racing is a complete hack who needs to find another line of work. Just because it’s not your cup of tea doesn’t mean it’s a bad movie, and you can’t judge every movie by the same narrowly focused classifications. You need to look at what type of movie it is, what the priorities are for the people who are likely to want to see the movie, and whether or not the movie meets those priorities. Which means that not every movie has to be vying for Best Picture! If it’s a horror movie, it needs to be scary; if it’s a comedy, it needs to be funny; if it’s an action movie, it needs to be fast-paced and action-packed. And if you can’t keep that in mind when you’re writing your review of the movie, you’re not only wasting your readers’ time, but you’re doing a complete disservice to those people who are actually trying to use your review to help them decide if it’s a movie they’d enjoy or not (which is why I don't pay any attention whatsoever to critics when deciding what movies I'm going to see).

Damn, I just can’t get off the critic-bashing rant today (guess that tells you how emotional I get over bullshit reviews of movies I like). But anyways, let’s get back to the topic at hand – The Fast and The Furious: Tokyo Drift. Firstly, as you’ve probably guessed from the trailers, this one has a brand new set of characters with no ties to the previous movies at all. Which is fine, because as I commented on (repeatedly) above, that’s not what the movie is about. The movie is about racing. And specifically in this case, it’s about drifting, which I won't bother explaining to you because they do a pretty good job explaining it in the movie (and in the trailers for the movie, as far as that goes). All that needs to be said is that it is incredibly fun to watch.

So here's the plot in a nutshell: the main character goes to Japan to live with his estranged father (as mentioned above, the reasoning for this is pretty flimsy and falls completely within the realm of "only in Hollywood"), and once there gets involved in the world of drift racing. Not surprisingly, he knows nothing about drifting, and pretty much totals the car he borrows for his first race by slamming into walls, parked cars, etc., every time he tries to round a curve (the race takes place inside a parking garage of all places, with the racers racing to the top of the garage). But naturally he makes a few friends and slowly learns the ropes of drifting until he’s a top-notch racer. And at the same time, of course, he makes enemies with the best racer around by showing an interest in his girlfriend (who of course returns that interest). Kind of reminds me a lot of the original The Fast and The Furious, but that’s certainly not a bad thing. And things progress from there – I won’t bore you with the details; if you really want to know what happens, go see the movie!

In conclusion, all I can say is when you walk out of the theater completely pumped, and can practically feel the adrenaline racing through you, you know you’ve seen a good racing movie. And that’s exactly how I felt coming out of this movie. And there’s a little surprise at the end of the movie that is just really kickass that makes you feel just that much more pumped and excited and glad you saw the movie (at least it did for me). Hell, I’ll probably go see the movie a second time before it leaves the theaters. Take that, USA Today!!